Heavy Heavy

Saturday morning, Becky’s ex boyfriend and close friend, Roach, committed suicide at his home nearby. There is a long and complicated story that is attached to the whole situation, apparently he had been suicidal for awhile, but this time he actually did it. Needless to say, Becky is pretty devastated, but she has been dealing with the situation fairly well it seems. Her sister came into town Saturday night and has been staying with her at his house (they were worried about people stealing his shit) for the first part of the week, but things are slowly starting to return to normal.

As for me, Roach’s suicide really made me think, I wasn’t really upset or anything, as I had only met him a few times, but it sparked a lot of thought about the nature of suicide as well as the mechanics of one’s actual death. I was a little shaken up on Saturday, so I went to visit Pele, and while I was walking across the lava field, I was imagining what it must look like when someone's soul and energy leaves their body and rejoins with the eternal energy life force. Afterwards, I went to the beach to visit the water and I sat in a big dead tree on the edge of the beach for a long time and I talked to him. I think, because I could feel it, that initially after someone dies, that energy is released and for a little while while it’s in transition to wherever or whatever or just while  the atoms and molecules are being reabsorbed into the earth, you can connect with that energy or whatever it may be. So, I told him how his permanent solution to fairly temporary problems had affected me, someone he probably didn’t even think it would. It just reiterates the fact that suicide is a selfish act that leaves victims out of innocent bystanders. It really just sucks, but things have to and do keep going. I think things are to go back to “normal” soon, but until then, empathy is pouring and I am trying to do everything possible to be helpful.

I’ve been enjoying the company of some new friends and I really like this process of joining the community. I’ve been going all over the place with people and doing cool things, and I just love having friends again. Except having friends in the real world seems way different then before. Perhaps it’s because I’m not living in the same place as all my friends, and I actually get to go to other peoples houses and stuff.

Some cool things lately:

#1 Acrobatic Yoga: I did it for the first time on Sunday on this lawn of a big subdivision overlooking the ocean. Basically, it’s like playing airplane-yoga. This guy named Joelle lay down on his back with his feet up in the air holding me up by my hips. The yoga part is when he twists and moves your body in different positions. It was one of the most incredible stretches I’ve ever felt and it was so fun. It looks pretty cool too. I need to figure out where I can get me some more of that

-Snorkeling yesterday at this amazing reef with more biodiversity then I’ve seen underwater, ever. The corals and the fish and the urchins oh my. Here are some incredible pictures, thanks to my friend Zoe! It was so incredible the things I saw…

Endemic purple and Yellow Corals

Pencil Urchin!

Two kinds of puffer fish hanging out!

-Driving up the coast to Laupahoehoe (la-pa-hoy-hoy), which was this little park and boat ramp at the site of where a school used to be that was destroyed by a tsunami a long time ago. The cool part was there were a bunch of gulches, or river valleys, that you drive around/through and they were so incredible. Ohmygah, this island is so beautiful, I can’t even take it. And, I really haven’t seen much of it at all.

Hokay, unclear if we’ll get internet back at the farm, but I am sort of liking being less connected. It’s nice just to be absorbed with nature. Speaking of which, it’s time to do some of that.