All of a sudden, (on Dec 30th, when I started this post) it became extremely important for me to publically reflect upon the year 2010 with a list of some of the extremely valuable lessons that I’ve learned and/or re-learned over this past year. No doubt, this has been a triumphant and transitional 12 months and perhaps the best demonstration of that is, exactly 1 year ago, I was in Chicago celebrating the new year, freezing snot and all, with some friends who have faded in importance since graduation. Not only am I literally thousands of miles away from there now, but I would also say that the person I am, with the lessons I’ve learned, is light years away from that formal self. I have gained a lot of insight this year about how to actually move into adulthood and I know that the changes in my outlook upon the world were so necessary for me and so helpful in preparing me to lead a functional holistically healthy lifestyle. Ok, here goes…
Firstly, and completely knowledge based, I have learned a shit load about the natural world. There has been a definite continuation of my interests in the beautiful natural processes that have literally shaped this earth and all the plants and animals that sustain themselves and have for millions and millions of years before humans even decided to figure out what was happening around them. The actualization of my love for science was evidenced by a document that I produced for my senior thesis that I was genuinely proud of. 52 pages of strictly academic scientific writing/graphs/figures etc represented a year long intensive geochemical and paleontological research project. For the first time in my academic career, I was motivated and excited about what I was working on. Okay, that’s not exactly true, as most of my geology/biology courses in college usually got me pretty excited for learning more, but the thesis was mine, with research about a topic/location that nobody else has ever studied. But, I have also learned that I do not need an academic institution at all to learn about the earth, when I have the ability to explore it and actually learn about it by seeing it/living with it/ interacting with it. I have gained much respect for the earth, mostly by removing myself from the city and into nature, and I am definitely dedicating myself to try and at least reduce the impact I have on it in the future. I have learned to embrace and expand my passion for the earth and realized the necessity in being connected with nature and appreciative of all the things she does that sustain us, as humans, the worst invasive species. ever.
I’ve learned the true value and utmost necessity for clear, open, and honest communication. Relationships seem to work better when both parties recognize and practice open dialogue, sincerely.
I’ve learned that science cannot explain everything, (Don’t get me wrong here, I believe in science as an explanation for most things, religion included) but that there are indefinable energy connections that I can feel in my chest with certain people and definitely with the earth. This is something that I didn’t learn until I was out of the academic setting and until I consciously opened myself up to anything and everything. It was definitely a moment this summer when I said to myself “there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain” and since, I’ve been feeling these energy connections more and have been able to define them and use them for mutual benefit. For instance, I met a woman when I first got here and literally the second we locked eyes, I knew we both felt a strong attraction to one another. Not like sexual, but just that there is something about the two of us that just clicked. Proven by amazing conversation and that unexplainable energy feeling, I also felt compelled to share a lot of unsolicited advice that I knew she needed to hear at that time and I think we were just meant to meet. She actually lives in Colorado and was just visiting and we’ve talked a couple of times since, but that’s just an example of allowing my energy to radiate into the world with the hopes that it’ll snag someone else's radiating energy (or something… this is the hardest one to explain because it’s the most abstract)
I’ve learned that family is absolutely important, but that you can find family anywhere and the people who you share yourself with and who altruistically care about you should never be forgotten or unappreciated.
I’ve learned that sometimes the best thing is to be uncomfortable. It’s probably the way I’ve learned most of these lessons. But, what I mean is that by consistently challenging myself and not backing down from difficult situations, I’ve figured out that it all makes you stronger and everything happens as it does and every moment eventually passes, unpleasant or otherwise.
I’ve learned that having so many feelings is a good thing and it is enabling me to lead a connected, observant, thoughtful life. And by not suppressing those feeling from external influences, I am able to really be me.
I’ve learned how good it is to be alone sometimes. Especially since I hadn’t been truly alone in years, I have really learned to cherish and appreciate the time I’ve been completely alone without anyone in the whole world knowing exactly where I am. It’s a much better feeling than I anticipated, which was the scary part to begin with.
I’ve learned and re-learned how freaking beautiful everything about this earth is. Getting out of the city/suburbs this year, has possibly been one of my best decisions ever. I’ve seen some incredible beauty that this world has, and I haven’t even left the country! But! Doing geology in death valley and in the desert in Utah really really opened my eyes to the feeling of peacefulness that I get when I’m outside. The aina (Hawaiian for earth/land) is so abundant and has so many quirks, I can’t stand always being trapped in the concrete jungle. I mean, okay, cities definitely have a lot of perks, and seeing some new ones last year was cool for the experience, but I’ve just been enjoying nature too freaking much…
I’ve learned what it truly feels like to be so incredibly happy and content in the moment. I think “being in the moment” is one of the hardest things to do, but since I’ve been here, I’ve been recognizing that thought more often and it just makes me smile so wide.
I’ve learned that love is way more powerful than hate. Seriously, the negative adrenaline associated with anger can be so overwhelming, but when someone is gushing with love, it radiates and overlaps with others in a more incredible way.
I’ve learned that even though I may not be content with my morphology, that, my body is my very own sacred space that I must take care of and respect because it’s what I got. Recently, having the feeling of being healthy has become quite apparent and it just feels good to be active. Plus, my brain feels it too, and it’s hard to be unhappy when you’re body feels strong and able.
I’ve learned the true value of inter-species love and I am quite excited for when the right time comes for me to take the responsibility of a pet. I’m still thinking of Gary the Beagle, but really since my newfound love of cats and horses, I don’t know… I got on Mavis’ (da horse) back the other day and I knew that level of trust was between us, probably because I feed her by hand and share breath with her, but we’ve been building a relationship and it’s just really interesting to me to do that with animal like that.
A lot of these lessons are the ones that are fairly fresh in my mind from the most recent experience of being in Hawaii, but as I think about it, they really have been applying for a long time, it’s just taken me awhile to recognize them and their value…
This is where I am in the world and I couldn’t be more excited for it to be right here right now. Here’s to 2011, I hope that it brings more lessons and that I can continue meandering along my path…
