2010 Reflections

All of a sudden, (on Dec 30th, when I started this post) it became extremely important for me to publically reflect upon the year 2010 with a list of some of the extremely valuable lessons that I’ve learned and/or re-learned over this past year. No doubt, this has been a triumphant and transitional 12 months and perhaps the best demonstration of that is, exactly 1 year ago, I was in Chicago celebrating the new year, freezing snot and all, with some friends who have faded in importance since graduation. Not only am I literally thousands of miles away from there now, but I would also say that the person I am, with the lessons I’ve learned, is light years away from that formal self. I have gained a lot of insight this year about how to actually move into adulthood and I know that the changes in my outlook upon the world were so necessary for me and so helpful in preparing me to lead a functional holistically healthy lifestyle. Ok, here goes…

Firstly, and completely knowledge based, I have learned a shit load about the natural world. There has been a definite continuation of my interests in the beautiful natural processes that have literally shaped this earth and all the plants and animals that sustain themselves and have for millions and millions of years before humans even decided to figure out what was happening around them. The actualization of my love for science was evidenced by a document that I produced for my senior thesis that I was genuinely proud of. 52 pages of strictly academic scientific writing/graphs/figures etc represented a year long intensive geochemical and paleontological research project. For the first time in my academic career, I was motivated and excited about what I was working on. Okay, that’s not exactly true, as most of my geology/biology courses in college usually got me pretty excited for learning more, but the thesis was mine, with research about a topic/location that nobody else has ever studied. But, I have also learned that I do not need an academic institution at all to learn about the earth, when I have the ability to explore it and actually learn about it by seeing it/living with it/ interacting with it. I have gained much respect for the earth, mostly by removing myself from the city and into nature, and I am definitely dedicating myself to try and at least reduce the impact I have on it in the future. I have learned to embrace and expand my passion for the earth and realized the necessity in being connected with nature and appreciative of all the things she does that sustain us, as humans, the worst invasive species. ever.

I’ve learned the true value and utmost necessity for clear, open, and honest communication. Relationships seem to work better when both parties recognize and practice open dialogue, sincerely.

I’ve learned that science cannot explain everything, (Don’t get me wrong here, I believe in science as an explanation for most things, religion included) but that there are indefinable energy connections that I can feel in my chest with certain people and definitely with the earth. This is something that I didn’t learn until I was out of the academic setting and until I consciously opened myself up to anything and everything. It was definitely a moment this summer when I said to myself “there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain” and since, I’ve been feeling these energy connections more and have been able to define them and use them for mutual benefit. For instance, I met a woman when I first got here and literally the second we locked eyes, I knew we both felt a strong attraction to one another. Not like sexual, but just that there is something about the two of us that just clicked. Proven by amazing conversation and that unexplainable energy feeling, I also felt compelled to share a lot of unsolicited advice that I knew she needed to hear at that time and I think we were just meant to meet. She actually lives in Colorado and was just visiting and we’ve talked a couple of times since, but that’s just an example of allowing my energy to radiate into the world with the hopes that it’ll snag someone else's radiating energy (or something… this is the hardest one to explain because it’s the most abstract)

I’ve learned that family is absolutely important, but that you can find family anywhere and the people who you share yourself with and who altruistically care about you should never be forgotten or unappreciated.

I’ve learned that sometimes the best thing is to be uncomfortable. It’s probably the way I’ve learned most of these lessons. But, what I mean is that by consistently challenging myself and not backing down from difficult situations, I’ve figured out that it all makes you stronger and everything happens as it does and every moment eventually passes, unpleasant or otherwise.

I’ve learned that having so many feelings is a good thing and it is enabling me to lead a connected, observant, thoughtful life. And by not suppressing those feeling from external influences, I am able to really be me.

I’ve learned how good it is to be alone sometimes. Especially since I hadn’t been truly alone in years, I have really learned to cherish and appreciate the time I’ve been completely alone without anyone in the whole world knowing exactly where I am. It’s a much better feeling than I anticipated, which was the scary part to begin with.

I’ve learned and re-learned how freaking beautiful everything about this earth is. Getting out of the city/suburbs this year, has possibly been one of my best decisions ever. I’ve seen some incredible beauty that this world has, and I haven’t even left the country! But! Doing geology in death valley and in the desert in Utah really really opened my eyes to the feeling of peacefulness that I get when I’m outside. The aina (Hawaiian for earth/land) is so abundant and has so many quirks, I can’t stand always being trapped in the concrete jungle. I mean, okay, cities definitely have a lot of perks, and seeing some new ones last year was cool for the experience, but I’ve just been enjoying nature too freaking much…

I’ve learned what it truly feels like to be so incredibly happy and content in the moment. I think “being in the moment” is one of the hardest things to do, but since I’ve been here, I’ve been recognizing that thought more often and it just makes me smile so wide.

I’ve learned that love is way more powerful than hate. Seriously, the negative adrenaline associated with anger can be so overwhelming, but when someone is gushing with love, it radiates and overlaps with others in a more incredible way.

I’ve learned that even though I may not be content with my morphology, that, my body is my very own sacred space that I must take care of and respect because it’s what I got. Recently, having the feeling of being healthy has become quite apparent and it just feels good to be active. Plus, my brain feels it too, and it’s hard to be unhappy when you’re body feels strong and able.

I’ve learned the true value of inter-species love and I am quite excited for when the right time comes for me to take the responsibility of a pet. I’m still thinking of Gary the Beagle, but really since my newfound love of cats and horses, I don’t know… I got on Mavis’ (da horse) back the other day and I knew that level of trust was between us, probably because I feed her by hand and share breath with her, but we’ve been building a relationship and it’s just really interesting to me to do that with animal like that.

A lot of these lessons are the ones that are fairly fresh in my mind from the most recent experience of being in Hawaii, but as I think about it, they really have been applying for a long time, it’s just taken me awhile to recognize them and their value…

This is where I am in the world and I couldn’t be more excited for it to be right here right now. Here’s to 2011, I hope that it brings more lessons and that I can continue  meandering along my path…

Pus, Pimples, Bacteria and Mosquitoes:

The consequences of a wet not-cold tropical winter….

I was and on some level, still am, thrilled for my first winter without snow and cold. Almost as excited as I am that seasonal affective disorder hasn’t hit like it has in the past. I realized that this past year, that the cold winter really stunted me and it took almost until the summer to really kick start my serotonin levels back to adequate. And it should go without saying that being able to swim and be outside comfortably in these months is really good. 

BUT, there are some definite down sides to all of this rain and moisture that is indicative of a tropical winter and honestly, I’m not sure which is worse: a bagillion aggressive mosquitoes and festering wounds or unbearable cold and frozen snot. I mean, actually, I’d still rather be here, but I’ve been thinking about the effects of the weather a lot recently…

And I’m totally bummed, I, nor anyone in Hawaii, got to see the lunar eclipse because there were clouds for miles. :( 

I got a pretty big blister on the bottom of my foot (umm, from walking barefoot) last week and I really overextended myself (lots of physical activity for days), which I think lowered my immune system and allowed a nasty infection to start brewing. Which, in turn spread to all the other cuts and scrapes etc, that I regularly have on my person. It was no good, and it was really hurting to walk and looking disgusting earlier this week. I could tell that there was something wrong and the ways that I was trying to treat it myself weren’t working, so I went to a clinic on Tuesday morning and got some antibiotics. By now, I’m feeling much much better, and I’ve been actually resting and trying to take it easy a bit.

Except that resting anywhere involves a constant fight with the mosquitoes. Now, there are a lot of bugs here and I really don’t mind any of them, except for these little fuckers. Seriously, it might be the most annoying thing ever to have to always swat and itch and cover my head at night. I found a mosquito net today that I’m going to try tonight but jeez, gimme a break. I should eat more garlic…

OH! While I was at the clinic, I got weighed for the first time since I’ve been here and I’ve lost 30 pounds! This island is doing me wonders, although I guess the lifestyle change of eating really well and a lot of exercise has been helping too, but damn. This morning I was thinking about how my bed must have gotten harder, because it feels like it, but I realized I’m jut getting bonier. Ha! I mean I’m not complaining at all and I feel way good and healthy, which is really what matters anyway…

The tomatoes have also gotten the wet funk :(

There is some sort of mold/fungus/bacteria that has infected the whole first bay of tomatoes. This is likely the result of way too much water, because the plastic on that section of roof ripped off, and basically the whole crop is destroyed. Plus, it’s pretty gross having to deal with the tomatoes and the leaves rotting off of the plants :( We’re having to remove all the plants prematurely, but we’re trying to save some of the green tomatoes by totally pruning the gross leaves, but it’s not really working…

I’m pretty disappointed about this, as I’ve worked pretty hard in this bay and I feel a connection to these plants, but it really makes me think about how difficult it can be to grow food and how when you just pick up tomatoes at the grocery store, little to no thought is placed upon the farmers and what they’re having to deal with. It’s something that I rarely thought about on the mainland and although I made an effort for local and organic, I never thought about the whole commitment someone has made to the growing process. I encourage you to ponder the question Where does my food come from? and think about making choices, which ensure that you know, and that you’re okay with, the answer. I’ve also been thinking a lot about this, and I know that I can attest some of the weight loss to almost entirely cutting out processed and industrially produced foods. No doubt this is difficult to totally change the ingrained behaviors of food choices in this country, but one of the reasons I wanted to come here was because of the abundance of fresh raw food. My relationship with food is really progressing and I’m becoming attuned to eating what, quite literally, feels good. I sort of have a fantasy of having a completely raw diet, as I’ve met some people here who have made it practical, but I can’t commit to something like that, especially when it’s totally impractical in places that aren’t food-plant abundant. But, the majority of the food I eat is all raw. For instance, I made an avocado/banana mash with raw cacao beans (a real SUPERfood) and macadamia nuts and I juiced a bunch of carrots and an apple for breakfast today :) So delicious, and like I said, I can really feel the positive effects all through my body. It’s like the opposite if that feeling you get after McDonalds…

Okay, enough. I realized that I’m  not doing exactly with this blog what I could do and also I’m vacillating with de-connecting with the interwebs, so we are presented with this juncture in which I may become more diligent with blogging or not. You may have noticed my use of italics and bold in this entry, which was totally an attempt to incorporate more tone. Yes? No? Here’s a pretty rainbow from the other day…

It was the most vivid rainbow I’ve ever seen and it went all the way across the sky :) This is the view from the top of the treehouse and that’s part of the greenhouse under that mango tree…

Oh, and I guess Merry Christmas to anyone out there who actually is celebrating it. I hope you remember to rejoice in the beauty of your family and friends, near and far, and fuck the consumermas part. Things are only things and connections are stronger. And for everyone else, I hope that you can sufficiently avoid the Christmas insanity and remember it’ll be over soon; enjoy the break from mundancy. It’s actually pretty funny, another side effect of a not-cold winter is that I’ve managed to almost completely avoid the “holiday” season because it just doesn’t feel like it should be Christmas, and I haven’t allowed myself to be inundated by the Christmas spirit. Plus, Christmas lights in palm trees just look ridiculous. But, I am going to help Becky at her store, Jungle Love, tomorrow to sell super last minute gifts, and she gives out champagne :) Should be interesting…

She’s so beautiful in the morning

On saturday I went on a pre dawn/sunrise hike to the lava with Debbie and Ron. Debbie is Becky's sister, who was visiting for a week and helping out at the store and Ron is this return WWOOFer guy that has been here the past 4 winters and in the summer he lives and climbs rocks in Yosemite. Perhaps I'll reflect upon them further, but for now I'm going to try and sum up the last few days...

The lava stopped flowing into the ocean just after thanksgiving and then it pooled for a couple of weeks up the hill, and in the last week it has been moving downhill again towards the ocean and it's been taking forest as it goes. It's been pretty cool at night, you can see the red glow  reflected on the clouds over in the distance...Here are some really cool lava pictures, and yes Ma these were just taken with my cell phone.

It was really cool hiking out when it was still dark and then coming back with the early morning light. This was one of the first breakouts I saw…

You can kind of see the horizon in this one; the lava was moving so fast, it was incredible.

 

This is of a chunk of molten rock falling off into more lava. So cool.

This was the largest and longest breakout that we saw, and it was magnificent. It got lighter and lighter around us and then the scenery emerged and the coasline was way closer then I thought.

Probably since I’ve been seeing so much art about this, but this breakout really looked like the bust of a woman with long braided hair. I think it was Pele that I saw and she did look so beautiful in the morning.

Lava is so indescribable, like I really could never have imagined what it actually is like to be so close to the searing hot rock. Just the thought of how hot it is and then it comes from deep in the earth is incredible, but when your body gets warm and you have to blink a lot to keep your eyeballs cool, you can feel the force of energy that this earth is capable of. Incredible.

Soft as Chalk

The other day as I was admiring the way the early morning feels when I was collecting horse fodder down the driveway  and I remembered about this blog. I mean, I didn't really forget about it, but I realized that I need to make a concerted effort to thoughtfully reflect upon the extraordinary experiences that I am having here. Not only in order to more eloquently write about the cool things I seem to being getting myself into but also for myself; to consciously think about how happy and content I am to be here right now. Being truly in the moment is actually pretty hard, I think, but I've been practicing a lot lately. That's one reason I've sort of neglected some of this techmology. Anyway, in addition to recounting my experiences, I am going to work on also elucidating the things I'm learning about people, the earth, and energy.

Alas, I'm fairly exhausted, so all of that is going to come in time. I've been helping my friend Zoe to paint the exterior of an extension she put on her garage. She's going to move into it and rent out her house, but the place is jungalow styled and after some fuckery with contractors, she was left with the frame of the house and no money. So, I will also be adding exterior house painting  to my C.V. Except, maybe I shouldn't because somehow I've managed to get an absurd amount of paint on myself all 4 days I've painted. Like, even by my standards it's been rediculous. And although I don't have any pictures of that, on Saturday, Zoe took me on a partial island tour towards the south. Since I've been here, I've really only stayed in my district of Puna, and she was gracious enough to show me some more of this fucking incredible island.

My goal is to get less tired soon so that I can reflect more about this experience, but I'm going to put up a few pictures in the meantime to whet your appetite...

A macadamia nut tree orchard :) Raw ones right from the shell taste like acorns except way better

The Wood Valley Buddhist Temple

I call this one “Cinderconeinacloud”

This is looking north towards Puna where I live

 

Actually, this restaurant had the dankest coconut cream pie ever. Seriously. Ever.

Techmology is everywhere!!! Driving to South Point are these satellites and a bunch of  very photogenic old windmills

And this is one of the most beautiful places on earth. South Point: America’s most southerly point. We were there at sunset and it was breath taking.

This is an old boat launch. Also a site where lots of people jump off the 35 ft cliffs into the water. I will be doing this shortly, and the fact that I couldn’t do it then (it was cold, close to dark, and no towel…) has been bothering me. I need to jump off of high rocks into water. You can kind of see the ladder along the side that you climb up…

This is close to the green sand beach, which we unfortunately didn’t get to go to, but this one was pretty cool. It had white sand :) and a lot of plastics and trash from the Pacific Gyre :(

 

And as if I couldn’t have been more overstimulated, we went to the park, Volcanoes National Park that is, to see the Halema’uma’u crater in the Kilauea caldera. Holy shit, it was so incredible. The amount of lava that must be pooling in there is incredible. Eee- living near active lava is so interesting. People talk about it like the weather.

One final note and then I’ve really been working on this for too long: I applied for a job! as a security guard in the parking lot where the tourists come to see the lava. HA! I hope I get it. I’ll get a badge…

Oh! and I got a haircut:

Hannukah oh Hannukah

Happy Hanukkah Friends!
Actually, I haven't really been celebrating, except for last night when I happened across the other jew on the island and she had a menorah made out of a plank of wood :) So, I got to break out a little hebrew for the benefit of the non-jews present. And! I made a dreidel out of clay! And! I made dessert latkes, which also had carrots and raisins and ginger and cinnamon in addition to the potatoes. They were pretty damn good and it felt nice to do something for the holiday.

Perhaps the second night of Hannukkah has been best so far though. I went to an incredible poetry/storytelling performance by this incredible queer poet named Kimberly Dark, who was workshopping a new show idea. It was incredible, she made this "deck" of cards that had art from 6 artists she knows, which all correlated to stories/poems. Her idea is to make completely unique performances for this show, so she had a member of the audience pick 5 of the pictures and she performed the stories on the back. There were 5 categories including, sex, politics, love, power, and "the all". The all was a whole idea that really interested me about the ultimate energy force or something that connects everyone. Kimberly was an incredible performer and she emoted so strongly that I know everyone in the room felt like she was talking to them. Plus, her subject matter totally resonated with me in terms of feminism, gender nonconformity, and her love for this island. It was a great show and it was funny because the main audience was the old dykes who live in this area and I've noticed/been noticed by most of the women who were there before, but it was interesting seeing them in a social setting...

Lava, How’d you get so cool? Thanks though…

I guess that’s probably wrong, since lava is like 2000 degrees.

I walked out to the lava on Friday to give thanks to Pele since I was in a pretty thankful mood from Thursday's thank-fest. Which, by the way was really a good time. I was able to cook some deliciousness at my friend Zoe’s house before we went to her cool friends house. I made my standard all from scratch apple pie, but I added fresh ginger and lemon as well as a fresh mango and cranberry relish that had honey, garlic and a Hawaiian chile (these tiny super spicy peppers that are almost as hot as habaneras on the scoville scale). The relish was soo good, and the rest of the food was pretty delicious too. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and the company was good which made a warm family vibe. However, I did get a bit sad about not being in familiar surroundings with family and old friends on this holiday. It’s kind of weird being away at times like this… But, I am very thankful for the new friends I’m making and the the my new and improved lifestyle :)

Anyway, no pictures from thanksgiving, but I have a bunch from the lava, duh. I still cannot express in words or pictures how incredible of a sight and experience it is to see live active geology. This lava is seriously not staying in one spot, and in fact I heard it took another house/farm near the road yesterday when I was at the ocean entry. That’s just the second one this year, but the ones that are out there are all built atop the 1990 flow that also destroyed lots of homes. Estupido.

Things are changing pretty quickly here and even since the last time I was out there, it looks totally different. For instance, that beach where I took the last set of lava pictures has almost totally eroded and there are only big boulders rolling in the surf. Incredible. Okay, without further delay (if you haven’t already scrolled down): here are some pictures…

   

The Cattery

I can now put construction, and specifically of catteries, to my resume.

What’s that? You don’t know what a cattery is? Well, let me explain, but I’ll start from the beginning: So, Roach killed himself and left 9 cats and no will. Becky, being the most legitimate cat lady I’ve ever met, obviously went on a cat rescue mission. Complicating this whole tragic event even more is the fact that Roachs mother and sister (and her friend, debatably partner) apparently didn’t really know him or care about him or something, but within a week of them being here, they liquidated the entire house and obviously only cared about what money they could get. Totally rude, and they took over and kicked becky out and took her keys to the house and everything. So, the last weekend, cattery construction ensued.

There were already 17 cats on the farm and they all have their own territories, so Becky decided it necessary to build an enclosure in the jungle around her daughter Abby’s house. Abby is on the mainland and that other guy Mike stayed there while he was here. Anyway, there was some extra tin roofing panels, and Becky decided to nail them to 2x4’s that were nailed between trees to create the ultimate Mad-Max-Jurassic-Park-Cattery-Fort.

It was a whole weekends plus Monday’s worth of work, and Michael and I were in charge of dragging the individual panels of roofing up the hill and screwing them into the 2x4. Then we had to put lava rocks at the base on either side (which was mostly my job) and shoots it was hard work. This is what it looks like from the inside and even though it’s blurry, you can kind of see the rough terrain on which we were building this extreme cat fence.

And this is from the outside. it was the craziest thing I had ever built, but it was pretty fun- and Roach left Becky some money to take care of them and she gave me $100! thanks roach…

This is one of the new cats named Penny hanging out in the cattery… note the giant rocks piled up on the edges of the repurposed roofing…

Since we spent the energy and time on the cattery, the greenhouse basically got ignored for 3 days, which was not good, because plants don’t stop growing if you need a break. We’re pretty behind in terms of pruning and clipping and treatments, so things are going to be a little bit hectic for awhile, but another WWOOFer guy who has been here before is coming in a couple weeks. So that’ll be a big help.

Until then, I hope you see as high a level of humor as I do about the cattery…

It is a real sight…

This is part of the stairs going to the second floor and Becky a little bit. She’s been staying up there with the cats until they get used to it or something. This is the corner of the fence against one side of the house. These pictures really don’t give the grandeur of the structure enough credit.